Awake

Song of Solomon 8:4 says, Do not awaken love until the time is right. Well it is too late... I just watched a beautiful video about home birth. This lead to watching another and another. I am in love. However, I am not pregnant. And with nursing, I may not be pregnant for a while. So I may not get the chance to have a home birth for quite some time. But I can't help myself. I crave the beauty that comes from those births. It is still strange to me, the difference between two buildings. In the hospital, with Bunny's birth, I was... Well, that story has already been told. Only two good things came out of that place. One was Bunny (of course she could have come out of a home birth too), the other was the determination (of both me and The Hubs) to never let it happen again. A hospital is for sick and/or injured people. I was neither. I did not belong there.

Home is where the heart is, where I never should have left, where I labored for days with relative ease and comfort, where I would walk, over and over, from my Mama's house, down the driveway, past my house, across the bridge, down my Grandparent's driveway, through their yard. Then I would either hop the creek to my house (Yeah, I hopped the creek while in labor), or walk through the field to Mama's again. Where the neighbor woman would pop out into the yard to ask how I was coming along. Where the sun was warm and the air was fresh. Where labor was just another part of life (not a medical condition). Where I was just me (not patent number whatever). I have always been a home body and I guess that rings true for giving birth as well.

I wish that I knew then what I know now, but life doesn't work like that. However, I am more awake than I have ever been. I have (hopefully) learned to listen to and understand my body, my heart, and my God. Someday (Lord willing), I will have a home birth. Like all good things, it is worth waiting for.