Monday, April 4, 2011

A Little Bit Longer

This is it. The final day, the final hours of Bunny's first year. While I am excited for the days ahead, as I watch her sleep, I find a part of me wishing for just a little bit longer. Just a little bit longer holding, rocking, singing to, tickling, kissing, nursing, playing with, cleaning up after, soothing, changing, staying up all night with, bathing, and inhaling my baby.

I feel like I am reading a book about her life, and the first chapter is about to end. It can never be reread, only remembered. And I find myself asking, what will be remembered? I know that when she is grown, she will look back and have no memory of these days. Perhaps, she will have a knowing of the love she felt, or the bond we share. But what will be remembered?

I will remember the first time I saw her face, everything else in the room in now a blur. Tiny and perfect with a squashed little nose, pouty lips, and her daddy's ears. I will remember how she smelled, and how, when I said, "Baby, don't cry." she stopped and looked at me with her dark blue eyes. As if to say, "Oh, there you are. I was wondering where you had gone." I will remember all three of us lying down in our bed and sleeping all together for the first time. I will remember learning (and teaching at the same time) how to nurse. I will remember missing her when my grandma held her for 15 minutes (in the same room as me). I will remember wearing her close to me and breathing together.

I will remember that she made me strong and brought me out of any sadness with just the glimpse of a smile. I will remember the milestones. Sitting, scooting, crawling, cruising, her first steps, and so many others. I will remember struggles and how I learned from them. I will remember the firsts and the lasts. The first time she said Mama, the last time she wanted to be wrapped for her morning nap. I will remember and others around me will remember. And because we remember, we will re-tell this chapter to her many times.

As we turn the page and end this chapter, a new one starts. This is only the begining of her story. A story that promises to be great and full of adventure. After all, to live is a very great adventure.

I love you Bunny! Happy Birthday!


  1. As I sit here with tears in my Eyes, Let me say happy Birthday Bunny. The first year does go by so quickly. You blink and your baby is no Longer You have a Toddler Developing her own personality. Her own wants and Preferences. My baby will be 3 at the end of May and The Time has Flown by. So Rock your Bunny Snuggle Close and Inhale her scent and enjoy every moment of it.

  2. Thanks for making me teary eyed first thing in the morning
    Bunny and Birdie are growing up to fast, where is the slow motion button?

    Happy Birthday Bunny <3

  3. As tears fall down my cheek, I have the biggest smile on my face! You are an amazing woman and mother! Kaely is absolutely beautiful and is growing so fast!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and moments with all of us!!


  4. Bittersweet <3 Time is so fleeting which is why we must live purposefully and suck every bit of life out of each day! You will blink and Bunny will be a grown woman, strong and gentle, full of grace and love and wisdom, a wonderful mama, and your best friend.

    Yes, her story has just begun! And I am so blessed to be a part of her book!